With six games remaining in the season, the Joseph Barron Senior High School administrator in Des Moines was at a loss for what to do. Colin Kaepernick, the former NFL quarterback, was the new coach, and he had to fire him.

To remain connected to football, Kaepernick accepted the position covertly, but things didn’t go well at first. Principal Jack Bowman remarked, “The kids couldn’t stand him. He just had a way of pissing people off.”

Parents claim that they were only informed that the coach had “an impressive background in the game” and were not permitted to know his identity. It turns out, after only three weeks, he was attempting to convince players to protest during the playing of the National Anthem. All Bowman needed to make the shift was three more weeks and a 0–6 start.

If you had placed that wager with Taylor exposing her tonsils each time Travis Kelce made contact with the ball, you would have won ninety to one.
football isn’t what it used to be. This school has an opportunity to do things correctly the next time, at least.

NOTE: This is borrowed satire