Dear Wife,
I’m leaving you for good. In 7 years of marriage, I’ve been a good man with nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks were rough. You quit your job, didn’t notice my new haircut, my cooking, or my new silk boxers. You’ve lost interest in us as a couple. Whether you’re cheating or don’t love me anymore, I’m done. Your EX-Husband.
P.S. Don’t try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving to West Virginia!

Dear Ex-Husband,
Your letter made my day. I noticed your haircut but thought you looked girly, didn’t comment. You cooked pork—I stopped eating it 7 years ago. The $50 silk boxers? My sister borrowed that amount earlier. Still, I loved you. I won $10 million, quit my job, and got us tickets to Jamaica, but you left. My lawyer says you get nothing.
P.S. My sister Carla was born Carl—hope that’s okay!

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